Josh had everything back in his possession after leaving Syd's shop, going around the corner, and looking through his bag. With his face covered and focused back on his goal, Josh made for the funeral home finally. His time in the town felt like weeks just after a few days; spending the rest of his life there would not do. No more obstacles, he decided and watched for Cannon or anyone else who might be a problem.
I like the way you’re developing the growing stress in the reader. The idea of being followed without being followed, of being watched by a disembodied ‘something’ is a feeling we all experience and your story does a good job of tapping into that (fear? anxiety?).
I feel like you seem to be saying something about Ridgecrest, but haven’t put my finger on it yet.
I know you’re developing a story but it feels like an allegory, like it’s a cautionary tale against misbehaving children and the trials they face by falling off the edge of reality, somehow. The more I read, the more I’m interested in figuring it out.
I like the way you’re developing the growing stress in the reader. The idea of being followed without being followed, of being watched by a disembodied ‘something’ is a feeling we all experience and your story does a good job of tapping into that (fear? anxiety?).
I feel like you seem to be saying something about Ridgecrest, but haven’t put my finger on it yet.
I know you’re developing a story but it feels like an allegory, like it’s a cautionary tale against misbehaving children and the trials they face by falling off the edge of reality, somehow. The more I read, the more I’m interested in figuring it out.